“Dating Red Flags” – From Lists to Life Design

“Dating red flags” content is everywhere:
  • love bombing,
  • inconsistency,
  • future‑faking,
  • lack of empathy,
  • no accountability.
Influencers, including Shan Boody and many therapists, have given us helpful language for patterns that used to be invisible. But here’s the issue: knowing red flags doesn’t automatically mean you stop choosing them.

What Red Flag Lists Get Right

  • They make you conscious of harmful behaviours.
  • They validate your intuition: “I wasn’t overreacting – that was”
  • They help you exit bad situations faster.
We use red flag language all the time with clients. It’s a useful diagnostic tool.

Why It’s Not Enough

Most red flag lists focus on the other person. Very few address:
  • Why you still feel drawn to the same patterns.
  • How your unhealed wounds or loneliness make red flags feel like “home”.
  • How to design a life structure (community, standards, process) that makes it harder for red flag people to even get close.
Our view: Red flags are not just about “bad people”. They’re about vulnerable patterns in us and weak systems around us. We help clients not just spot red flags, but:
  • slow the pace of connection,
  • involve wise community input,
  • and stick to clear standards rooted in their purpose and values.

From Red Flags to Robust Filters

The Relationship Readiness Masterclass includes modules on:
  • your personal “pattern profile”,
  • attachment and trauma dynamics,
  • and practical tools to change who you find attractive.
The Matchmaking Readiness Audit gives you a personalised map of where your current dating system leaks. The 1,000 Couples Challenge is about building a generation who aren’t just red‑flag aware, but red‑flag resistant through healthy structures.