Mikaela opened her dating app for the fourth time that evening and sighed. Swipe, swipe, swipe… It was starting to feel less like flirting and more like a part-time job. She could not remember the last time she was excited about a conversation lately; it was a blur of small talk that went nowhere or matches that ghosted after two days. One night, while venting to her brother, Mikaela confessed, “I feel like I am on an assembly line of faces and cheesy pickup lines. I am just…exhausted.” Her brother nodded, “Dating app burnout. It is real.” In fact, Mikaela is not alone. Surveys show that roughly four out of five online daters have experienced feeling burnt out by the process. The endless swiping, the repetitive getting to know you chat, and the disappointments can pile up, leaving even the most hopeful romantic feeling drained.
The next morning, Mikaela decided to make a change. Instead of reflexively opening the app, she went for a jog and then spent the afternoon painting (a hobby she had neglected). She realised she needed a reset, both to recharge her energy and to rethink her approach. If you have been feeling the dating app doldrums like Mikaela, here are some ways to find your second wind:
- Take a purposeful break: It might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes the best way to move forward is to step back briefly. Delete the app for a week or two, or at least turn off the notifications. Use that time to focus on activities you love or spend time with friends and family. A short hiatus can help clear the frustration and remind you that your happiness doesn’t depend on checking messages every hour.
- Refresh your approach: After a break, do not just return to the same old pattern. Change something about the way you use the app. Maybe update your profile with a new photo or a fun fact to attract people who share your interests. If you have been casting a very wide net, consider refining your match preferences to what truly matters to you (quality over quantity). Conversely, if you have been too picky on paper, try loosening a couple of less important criteria; you might meet someone great who did not fit your old checklist.
- Set healthy boundaries: Treat online dating as just one part of your life, not an all-consuming quest. Mikaela decided to limit herself to 30 minutes of swiping and messaging per day, instead of mindlessly scrolling for hours. Setting a time limit or a “match limit” per day can prevent burnout. Also, avoid endlessly chatting with dozens of people at once focus on a few promising conversations so you do not feel overwhelmed.
- Try a new platform or method: Sometimes a change of scenery helps. If one dating app vibe is wearing you down, there is no harm in trying a different app that might cater more to your style or age group (there are apps for everything from book lovers to pet owners!). Or consider mixing in more offline ways to meet people: attend a meetup, let friends set you up, join a class or club. Diversifying how you date can make it feel less monotonous.
- Keep perspective and positivity: Remember why you are doing this to find someone special, not to win a swiping contest. Every person you meet (even if they weren’t “the one”) is part of the journey, teaching you what you want and do not want. Mikaela started keeping a light-hearted dating journal, writing down funny anecdotes or things she learned from each date, which helped her see even the duds as valuable experiences (or at least entertaining stories!). Maintaining a hopeful outlook that your person is out there will make the process more tolerable. A cynical mindset (“ugh, no one decent is on these apps”) often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
After implementing these changes, Mikaela felt a weight lifted. Online dating went from being a dreaded chore to just another way to meet people, one she had more control over than she realised. Three weeks later, refreshed from her break and newfound strategy, she matched with a guy who shared her love for painting and nature hikes. Whether or not he turned out to be the love of her life, Mikaela was enjoying getting to know someone again, and that is how it should feel. Call to Action: If dating app burnout is hitting you hard, commit to one change today. It could be taking a short break, updating your profile, or even just reminding yourself that it is okay to slow down. Your love life is not a race or a numbers game; it is a personal journey. Take care of yourself on that journey, and you’ll be ready to meet the right person with the best version of yourself.
Sources: globaldatinginsights.com.